Look, obviously everyone has a certain thing they are looking for in a mate. A few things they look for, things they don’t care for. And, yes, when a girl is in her teens, perhaps she wrote it on her Lisa Frank notepad and tucked under her pillow and wished for the fulfillment of said list. (Not it).

And yes, I have made a list. Matter of fact I have listed it on my blog. But I always change it. You have to. It was not the same when I was 16, 23, 29… But to have one set in stone? Dun DUn Dun. trouble.

I just can’t imagine being stoked to make someone’s list of qualities they are looking for. It’s one thing to have a list up in your skull but to present it in any way to someone whom you are hoping to make a relationship with? weak. That’s like saying, “You must never ever ever deviate from the qualities on this list. If you do, our relationship will be null and void due to your growth as an individual.”

Besides, it’s just lame. One never knows who they fall in love with or how they may fall out of love. A list? A list is meaningless. Although, I can see how someone would want to visualize these qualities only to later manifest them into whomever they date. But still, when you date someone with a set of -qualities, not standards- that you apply to them… you are already dooming the relationship. Then, you seek it outside of the relationship. The qualities you “gave” that person, you actually beging to “take back” and, under the guise “you are no longer the person I initially dated” you make the other person feel they have failed or are inadequate in some way. For shame. You and your creepy list of qualities should be alone forever. Together. That paper with the list is the only thing that will truly have all the qualities you seek. Duh. Like, duh.

I dunno. Just read someone’s ghey fukakta list of things their future partner MUST HAVE and it was as shallow as it was unfashionable.