My jaw is sore which means only one thing: I am stressed out and grinded / clenched my teeth in my sleep last night. God, I hate when I do that. It really is painful  the next day. I can only imagine that the real reason I did was because of the dreams I had. I am a believer in dreams. Now, I’m not psychic, but I do believe I have amazingly accurate dreams. (Side note: last night the husband said, “why are you speaking that way? all soft, as if you’re a psychic?” My thought: WTF are you talking about, dumbass?)

Well, last night I had two dreams. One was scary but means something good. The other was not scary but may seem scary.

1) I was climbing up a hillside covered in leaves and green grass. At the top, I fell to my knees only to move leaves and shrubs from a gravestone. It had my last name on it. ROBINSON (date - date). Literally, it said (date - date). Then, I moved to the gravestone next to it. Same thing. A black gravestone. And another. And another. And another. Finally, an empty plot. I jumped in. Jumped.

Seems scary. But in actuality, it is a good dream. One part of my life is ending. I am ready for it to end. I am moving on. This is the death or end of one part of my life and my psyche has accepted it.

2) I was in America, living a life without him. I won’t ever pretend to think that my measely marriage is paralleled to those marriages that span decades. However, in my little world, in my little head, I’ve breathed him for two years. Knowing that goodbye is really goodbye is, to be honest, strange. So, in my dream, I was walking around being all— single. And all — lonely? Anyhow, I know I am not going to be lonely and one has got to love them asian genes so I can pull another chap in no time, however, I am just saying. The dream had me twisted for a second so when I woke up, I was in crazy pain in my jaw from clenching.

3) This is not a dream. This is a test. This is me sitting in a my coffee shop with the sexy serbian coffee shop owner looking hotter and hotter because today he is wearing a HYPER COLOR TEE SHIRT. I wish I was kidding. And, there is a girl with a maroon pixie haircut, black tights, combat boots, a purple blouse, and a necklace with a mini dagger charm with her ray-ban shades on her head. She is with a hot pink pout and looks as coquettish as all crap and I hate that she is adorably filthy mouthed like she honestly doesn’t realize how pretty she is. She is like Natalie Portman in that SNL video where she she wears and its endearingly endearing. Fucker. I hate this girl. Go get discovered already and get out of my coffee shop, slag.

This Friday, I am going speed dating. I am Caussie’s wingman but for the record, I will be a different person for every single man who sits before me. I have ALWAYS wanted to do speed dating if nothing more than for the experience. I’ve heard of some women going to these looking for the one. I am going purely for research. I wonder how intimidating an American Neurologist with an adopted baby from China would be to a local Aussie bloke? Or better yet, if I said that I am one of the voiceover artists for Pixar back in the states? Oh, I love it. I cant wait. Neither can you. Because I will blog about it. And you and me, we will laugh. Oh, we will laugh.