When the weather heats up in Australia, the flies begin their annual party. This party is them, by the gabillions, swarming about your face, picking out spots on your shoulders, and enjoying the warm weather on your skin. Most aussies tell me “get used to it” sorry. I won’t EVER get used to flies resting their weary little maggot-driven bodies on my FACE. nope.

I carry bug spray and vigorously spritz my face and body with it before I leave the house. I walk down the street constantly swatting them off of me. But, like the lazy birds who eat old burritos in the street and refuse to move as your car slowly comes near them (and you say, “fuck! move bird. This bird doesn’t even CARE! Look at him. Move! omg. Is this bird serious..alright, im coming, you stupid bird… oh, okay, yeah, take your time, jerk!”) the flies are the same. They want to just hand out on you and don’t care what you think. This whole fly thing is an outrage.