The existential framework I have recently built up like an empire in the sun is completely made from eyeballs. I mean to say that lately I have been doing some really deep thinking on God and life and other important things that float through my mind. That is the extent of my deep thinking: Eyeballs. Windows to the soul.

Therefore, it is not unreasonable to say that I can no longer go to the coffee shop I adored called SOTO because this lunatic is a regular there named Andrew and he took his sunglasses off to shake my hand and introduce himself to me, only to weird me the EFF out due to his creepy stare and crazy eyes. None for me, thanks. You can keep your kind of crazy on your side of the street, Andrew. Im full up. Thanks.

See, I sat outside with a coffee and he sat outside with his own coffee. He is at least 6’3 and wears all black (this includes a black fedora). He is completely outdated and nothing makes me feel weirder than when someone fcukn CC’s me on a comment they are making to someone else. Example: “Hey, can you watch my laptop and bag?” (to other patron) “I sometimes ask him to watch my bag” (To me.)

But I smiled. And to crazy eyes killah, he thought it meant we were now friends. He then says loudly to himself, “I really love having a portable office. Being able to work from anywhere is nice” FYI : announcing how much you love your ‘portable office’ is a dead giveaway that you are old as fuck and still have not introduced yourself to all of your computer’s features.

Anyhow, Andrew had crazy in his eyes and when he asked for my number I gave it to him because i only LOOK sane.

But tonight I rented BELLA a movie from some festival in canada. I have discovered the one and only latin man I will ever say im mad about 100% Eduardo Verástegui. I watched the movie and like a true psycho I decided to watch the “special features” (something you do when you have NOTHING to do) and they had this interview with him and he was struggling with his english and it was hotness. His busted ass accent melts in my heart. He was all, “I joos wanna be fulfilled? how you say, ‘fullfillment iinside’? ah, jess, foolfeeled”

If you see me dating a mexicant it’ll be him.