Grooming days. You know, you take a little extra time in the bathroom doing etc & misc? Speaking of which, last week, I had to laugh. I walked over to the restroom to shower just as soon as Greg left to go to his GFs house. He must have remembered something because no sooner had I turned the bathroom light on and screamed, “Oh! Yuck! EEEWWW!” that I heard the front door swing open with his, “Oh, my God, Im sorry. Joe, can you clean it up for me? I was shaving my head and… bits and pieces… and you know I forgot about the PILE on the floor.”

My ever loving god. Be aware: there was far too much hair for it to be from his head. Both the Scali men are bald as fuck and italian as sin… trust me. The hair on the floor was ungodly.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnyways.

Fearful that my soon2BX’s cousin is a vampire as there are basically no mirrors in this castle, I have to get creative on the grooming days.

So, today I needed to see if I did a good enough job A) waxing my upper lip B) waxing my sideburns (oh please, dont act like you dont know shit about shit c) if the grotesque pimple on my cheek was best left alone or popped as it looks too much like a lesion to ignore anymore.

I used my cell phone and told my pimple and facial hair to say cheese.

I was deeeeeelighted to see that a quick snapshot in the bathroom on my shit cell phone captured my Nicole Kidman’s nose from The Hours. Also, that my moustache is gone. Sadly that I need work on my sideburns and mostly, that pimple is drying up nicely. Also, that I didn’t bother at all with eyeliner etiquette and chola’d the shit out of my upper lid. (yes, I grabbed a wet n wild pencil for 99 cents). I didnt even pose. I just wanted to see my pimple. And now I want to frame this shit.

And thats why I put this picture up. SERENDIPITY DOO DAH.

I just went for a jog down beaufort street….I jogged there to pick up a carton of milk and a box of chocolate chip cookies. Then, what looked like an ACTUAL messican man (miss them so much) was security and told a drunk aussie guy “I seen you putted the BUTTER in jour pocket. Please put it back.”

A scuffle ensued, leaving me bewildered and in love with the fact that I decided to leave the house immediately after taking a wonderful picture of my pimples. Also, as I walked home, two guys in a car cat-whistle-called me or whatever that whistle noise is. Sadly, Im not sure if they were serious or not. LIke, I kinda wanted to stop them at the red light and ask. One can never be sure with THAT whistle. I’ve heard my brother’s friend Greg whistle sexy like at Andy and my Brother.. and I have a strange feeling it was never sincere. So… you know, before I start tooting my own horn, I should be sure it was a true whistle.

On the jog/walk home, I recalled a time I went for a walk with Adrienne who mentioned that my particular jogging pants were SEE the SHIT RIGHT THROUGH. oh, no. I was wearing a pair of period underwear. and the sun was shining. they were bright colored and striped. there was a busted as bow on them, too. ugh.

Chances are, the sexy whistle was pure fakery. Jerks. they were probably like, “Oi, mate. Look at this bird’s big bright jocks. Whistle at her mate. Go on.”

I showed them though. The moment I got home I sat down and ated all the choc chip cookies. ALL OF THEM. haha. that will show them to never make fun of big underwears.

That will show them all. Even the guy who stoled butter from the mexican.

Ok. Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!